b. 12 March 1943 in Ogden, Utah.

d. 15 July 2025 in Farmington, Utah, at the age of 82.

Steve passed away kicking and screaming in the wee morning hours, much to the relief of neighbors and the local PD who had been initially dispatched for noise ordinance complaints; Officers soberly noted, "It was the easiest way to get him to leave without pressing charges."

While the officers were initially "sympathetic to Mr. Hirst's desire to 'Go out with a bang!'," they cited him for:

● Disturbing the Peace. As officers confronted him, Steve incessantly belted out the Beach Boys' song "Wouldn't It Be Nice" (One neighbor grumbled, "It's too soon after Brian Wilson's death," and another added, "I'm grateful that's over–Steve couldn't carry a tune to save his life.").

● Public Indecency. Steve was wearing only a hospital gown–backwards. When asked why Mr. Hirst wasn't wearing his adult diaper, one officer shrugged, "It depends."

● Possession of Miscellaneous Contraband. Suspicious of the monogrammed bowling ball bag Steve was carrying, the officers' search produced one lighter, three rolls of Smarties–one stuffed in each hole of his bowling ball, one unopened "Fun Size" Necco Wafer roll with the words, "M80 go boom!", written in Sharpie, and several pre-made gelatin and pudding cups, "In case I got hungry." Officers noted that Mr. Hirst had forgotten to pack spoons.

"That was 'typical' Steve," sighed one anonymous relative who identified himself as "James."

Steve was a special… precocious… exhausting… spoiled child only his mother could love. His siblings all agreed, "We asked for a dog. Mr. Snuffles was already taken, so we got him."

With his accomplice/co-conspirator/friend, also named Steve (Keller), Steve's life choices led him down the road of a teenage gearhead. Known for souping up cars and "Dragging the 'Vard," Steve and Steve ran up $400 (at 0.25¢ per gallon!) on Dr. Hirst's tab at the local gas station. Although he received a special commendation from OPEC, his picture remained behind the Texaco counter well into his 70s and was THE cautionary tale that drove the early "Climate Change" mythology.

Although the sciences ran in Steve's family: his grandfather, Charles T. Hirst, was a chemistry professor at Utah State, both his father and older brother were doctors, and his mother was a nurse, Steve possessed the anti-science gene.

In one incident, he attempted to "cook" gunpowder and saltpeter on his mother's stove, "I used a metal spoon to stir the concoction; the spoon scraped the bottom of the pan, and in three seconds, the mixture went 'Boom'." Just like his eyebrows, it took time for the kitchen ceiling's restoration and (several) coats of primer and paint to finally erase the physical consequences.

Another time, Steve blew up his high school chemistry lab when he dropped something on the floor. He spent the rest of the year trying to unsuccessfully recreate the same event, and in spite of his antics, Steve graduated from Ogden High School in May of 1961–his transcripts noted: "It was the easiest way to get him to leave without pressing charges."

Steve served a mission from May of 1964 through May of 1966 for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Australia Mission; Elder Hirst served as far South as Canberra and as far North as Brisbane. His skills with the boomerang and bull-whip and displays of Australian memorabilia were often shared with his children's elementary classes.

Upon returning from his mission, Steve had a short-lived political career that started and ended with an opinion editorial in the Salt Lake Tribune advocating for Ogden's Meter Maids to adopt the Australian Meter Maid Uniform: Swimsuits. Although his proposition gained traction with half of the electorate, mass meter maid resignations hit with the first snows.

Steve eventually earned a degree from Weber State College in Accounting–his department chair advised, "It was the easiest way to get him to leave without pressing charges." His professional life included banking, credit unioning, residential real estate appraising, cashiering, and other work best suited to an episode of the 1959 "Dennis the Menace" sitcom or "Scooby-Doo."

His work at Walmart #5205 was his most rewarding; friends, co-workers, and customers enjoyed his cheery disposition, quirky extroversion, questionable repartee, and ability to learn, remember, and use each person's name when greeting them. He celebrated working 20 years at Walmart on 05 March 2025.

In his spare time, Steve enjoyed . . . quantum mechanics, eating butter on crackers & bowling (often at the same time), and working with InterPol catching international art thieves. (One of these is true.)

Steve was preceded in death by his parents, Russell Nelson Hirst, M.D., and Verna Petersen Hirst, R.N..

He is survived by:

● His siblings: brother, Russell, and his wife Dianna, of Lewiston, UT, and sisters, Suzanne of San Diego, CA, and Elizabeth of Seattle, WA.

● His former wife, Emily, of Paris, ID, and their children: His favorite child and author of this obituary, James, and–from oldest to youngest: Richard and his wife, Michelle, of Spanish Fork, UT, Michael of Spanish Fork, UT, James and his wife, Sandy, of Herriman, UT, David and his wife, Melissa, of Clearfield, UT, and Rebecca and her husband Barry, of Farmington, UT.

● Nieces and nephews: Dennis & Michelle, Theresa & Eric, and Molly.

● 25 grandchildren, and 3 great-grandchildren + one on the way!

Steve expressed deep love and affection for "his" Park Lane Branch: Pres. Bauco, his counsellors, the Elders Quorum and Relief Society. "I dearly love them."

His final days were filled with visitors. Family and friends never left without him sharing his testimony of Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith the Prophet, and the blessings of the Restoration of the Gospel: Christ's True and Living Church, The Book of Mormon, Priesthood Authority, and Temple Blessings.

The family conveys their appreciation to the dedicated McKay-Dee Hospital, Monument Rehab, and Active Hospice doctors, nurses, CNAs, palliative care, social work, and numerous medical personnel who diagnosed, treated, worked with and helped Steve remain comfortable the last few weeks of his life.

Of Special Note: Richard, Michael, James & David express our admiration, love, and deepest gratitude to our sister, Rebecca, and her husband, Barry, who gave Dad a home of peace and love while he shuffled off his mortal coil. "Thank You" seems a trite platitude for your angelic service; maybe one day we will find better words.

A memorial service will be held 09 August 2025, between 2:00pm-4:00pm, at Leavitt Mortuary & Aultorest Memorial Park, located at 836 36th St, Ogden, UT 84403. In lieu of flowers, please bring your treasured memories, stories and/or photos, and share them with family and friends.

Graveside dedication will be offered by his eldest son, Richard Steven Hirst.

Author's Note:

Any journalistic attempts at accuracy have been ignored. Although some of the best stories are based on a kernel of truth, any questions appertaining to any claims made within this obituary will be referred directly to the dearly departed to ascertain fact from fiction. As the author of his obituary, I do absolve myself due to my medication's formulation: NErDySArCaSm, and my sovereign citizenry of the country "Caffeination." (P.S. Steve approved this obituary.)